Kære julemand ;O) {{forumTopicSubject}}

Dear Santa.
I've been a good doggy mum all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled
my dogs on demand, visited the Vet's office more than my own doctor, spent more
on their shampoos and conditioners than I do for myself, and most of the
time they are groomed better than I am. I was hoping you could spread my list
out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with a
black marker pen on the back of a dog food receipt in the laundry room
between cycles of dog bedding, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time
in the near future with puppies coming and dog shows on the he horizon.

Here aremy Christmas wishes: I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color,
except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the
breeze; but are strong enough to put my struggling dog into the tub for a
bath. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere eating dog show food
and at least three show outfits and some jeans that will zip all the way
up without the use of power tools .If you're hauling big ticket items this year
I'd like nose print resistant windows, floors that clean themselves, and a
refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to
eat my own snacks without having to share with a pack of barking maniacs.

On the practical side, I could use a battery operated dog that is always stacked
perfectly and moves to perfection on my command to boost my showing confidence,
along with at least two bitches who don't bump each other to start a fight. I
could also use a recording of The Dog Whisperer chanting "Don't pee in
the living room" and "Get off of her, she is not in heat" because my voice
seems to be just out of my dog's hearing range and can only be heard by the
next-door neighbours, who are at least an acre away. If it's too late to find any
of these things, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair
in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature
without it being served in a Styrofoam container at a dog show. If you don't
mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season.
Would it be too much trouble to declare a doggy lock-down session? It will
clear my conscience immensely when I look at those miserable little faces. It
would be helpful if you could coerce my husband and children to help around the
house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized
crime family because after all, this is for MY Dogs! Well, Santa, the buzzer on
the dryer is ringing and some of my dogs saw my feet under the laundry room
door. They think I am eating dinner in here again and they are missing out on
leftovers. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door
and look down so that you don't step into an "accident". I would have left
cookies, but between the dogs and the cat, there is no chance that anything
other than drool will be left on the plate. I left you a Hot Toddy to warm you
from the cold, but after a day like this, I drank it myself.

Yours Always, Doggy Mum

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep
my doggy "kids" in perfect show coats so they win at shows.