Vegan jokes Vegan jokes

How many meat eaters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they would rather stay in the dark about things.

How many vegetarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I don’t know, but where do you get your protein!?

How many vivisectors does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they don’t want you to see what they are doing.

Why did the tofu cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.

A man had a parrot that could talk. Unfortunately, it swore a lot. In an effort to get the parrot to be quiet, he put him in a cupboard. The parrot continued swearing and after a while the man decided to put the bird in the freezer. After that, the parrot started swearing even more. After a few minutes, he suddenly became quiet. The man opened up the freezer and the parrot said, “I’m sorry, sir, it will never happen again.” As the man took the bird out of the freezer he wondered what the difference was between the cupboard and the freezer. Just then, the parrot said, “So, uh, what’d the chicken do?”

What’s the best way to keep milk fresh?
Leave it in the cow.

Meat-eater: Did you hear about the new study saying vegans are more likely to go blind? I guess it’s because you don’t get the proper nutrition.
Vegan: Nah, it’s just from reading all of those tiny ingredients lists.

I don’t know about these people who call themselves vegetarians but eat eggs and dairy. I mean, I’ve heard of eggplants, but there no such thing as a cheesetree.

What does a vegan zombie eat?
GRAAAAIIIINS!

A missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous sound of a lion behind him. “Oh Lord,” prayed the missionary, “Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.” And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: “Oh Lord,” he prayed, “We thank Thee for the food which we are about to receive.”

Two chums were talking at a ballgame and one offered to buy the other a hotdog.
“No thanks,” came the answer. “I’m a vegetarian. I mean, I’ll eat a little white meat, but…”
“Oh, I understand. Hey, I’m no cannibal. I mean, I’ll eat a few white people, but…”

Har I nogle gode?

Har også samlet nogle fede fun-veggie pics på min side: http://veganrebel.wordpress.com/